THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v3.1
I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond ONE bag of some kind and THREE crappy items.
II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.
III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.
IV. Thou shalt not blame anyone but thyself if thou misseth out because thou hast not updated thy credit-card info.
V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.